His words struck me. Just like his lyrics. And his 360 tour.
“I think it was guilt that made Elvis lose the will to live. Yet in the scripture there is another line: ‘There is, therefore no condemnation for those who are in God’ (Rom. 8:1). There is no guilt. Guilt is not of God. It is a false teaching,”
-Bono, in “Walk On: The Spiritual Journey of U2” by Steve Stockman
So I’m ready now.
Ready to walk away from the dust clouds of guilt and shame into the wide open fields where we can roll down hills, free and unraveled…
Here it goes…
25. Wanting to keep my last name.
24. Not wanting kids/not wanting biological kids/not being sure if I don’t want kids (depends on the day of the week, it seems).
23. Wanting my hypothetical offspring to have a family last name that either A) combines my last name and my husband’s or B) for my husband to “allow” us to keep my last name for our kids (that I’m not even sure I’m having, mind you).
22. Not reading my Bible.
21. My adult sexuality (if you want to know what that means, ask me; I realize that’s vague).
20. Taking anti-anxiety medication.
19. Not having my graduate degree yet.
18. For spending money on things that delight me and bring life to my life: travel, yoga, juicy mangoes, dark chocolate, and bicycle parts.
17. Sniff-testing my clothes when I don’t know if they are clean or dirty.
16. Subbing dry shampoo and extra deo for showers when time for showers is short.
15. For still thinking toilet humor is funny.
14. Not desiring marriage right now. Or next year. Or maybe even 5 years from now. Who knows.
13. Wanting my partner and I to do mutual proposals to each other… or to one day, be sitting on a swing, in a park, enjoying the fresh air, holding each other’s hands, staring each other into the eyes, and finally, each say to the other, “Hey, you wanna get married?”
12. For being pescatarian instead of vegetarian.
11. Not tithing 10% of my meager income (or 5% for that matter).
10. The amount of time I spend triathlon training. It’s my place to be who I was made to be. And we all need those places.
9. Not wanting to be friends with everybody I meet. Not liking everyone I meet.
8. Referring to God in the female form sometimes (i.e. “Mother” instead of “Father” or “She” instead of “He.” This is why you’ll often see “S/He” in my posts about God).
7. Letting people know that it offends me when they use the word “retarded” or “gay” to mean derogatory things.
6. For having dreams and not being sure how to get there.
5. For changing my mind.
4. For speaking up and ruffling feathers instead of shrinking in my seat in fear.
3. For being an outspoken gender equality advocate.
2. For not always following my own advice.
1. Writing this post, unabashed, and free.